Bent Bear Blog

Well... That was Fast

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:25:35 -0400

Just a couple of days after posting my rant about being disatisfied with my current place of employment, I finaly learned the outcome of the interview process I started back on May 21.

Apparently, it IS a good thing when the people interviewing you high five each other after you answer a question. I have been offered, and accepted, the position of Staff Development Coordinator at another long term care facility. I start July 1.

Just what IS a Staff Development Coordinator you ask? Well, I'll be responsible for hiring the nursing assistants and nurses, and providing all of the required inservice programs, as well as developing additional training programs for the facility. This job is the perfect merging of my previous experience as a corporate trainer, and my new nursing career. It's part training, part HR and part nursing. I will also have the chance to teach nursing assistant courses, and do community outreach for the facility.

I tried to convince my current employer to let me do this job for them, but that was never going to happen. I've already given my notice, and they actually seemed happy for me. (Maybe it helped that I agreed to work out the rest of the month, instead of just 2 weeks.)

Oh, did I mention that this is a management position, and that I will be working Monday to Friday, 8-5, with weekends and holidays off? And that it involves a nice little pay raise? And quarterly bonus? <GRIN> Yeah.. I'm a happy bear...

There is ONE tiny draw back however.. Because this is a management , front office position, I won't be able to wear scrubs to work every day. The dress code is business casual. After nearly 6 years of working in health care, I have nothing in my wardrobe that even fits that description. ( I have a ton of scrubs, I have jeans and t-shirts, and I have a couple of suits. That's it.) So, I had to go clothes shopping..

Let me tell you something: 5 years of wearing scrubs (which are basically pajamas) can let a bear seriously delude himself as to his actual size. And I have. Shopping for new clothes this evening was NOT a fun experience. (Especially not for Steve who had to deal with me as my attitude went south). Ah well, that are things that can be done in that department too.. Time to get to work...

A Search for Greener Grass

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 12:09:17 -0400

WARNING: Long Rant Ahead

I’m not sure exactly when it was that I started to hate my job. Over the last few months, it has gotten harder and harder for me to go into work, and harder still to maintain a positive attitude once I’m there.

Don't get me wrong, I still like WHAT I do for a living, and am still sure that I made the right career move. Lately however, I’m not too sure that I like WHERE I work. I’m now more convinced than ever that I need to make a change.

Although it is hard to identify the straw the broke the proverbial camel’s back, I can list a few of the straws in the pack:

Maybe it was the day that a nursing assistant’s baby daddy showed up in the parking lot with a gun, and the DON called ME to see if I could go and see what was going on. (Fortunately, I had already left the building for the day and wasn’t trapped there while the facility was locked down for 2 hours.)

Maybe it was the day that the DON stood at the nurses station and loudly proclaimed that “None of you nurses are passing your medication! There are too many boxes of pills in the med carts!” (Even though we had been telling her for months that the pharmacy we use was over delivering medication, and probably over billing for it too. But no, we were the incompetent ones, not the pharmacy.)

Could it have been the day I found the rock of crack wrapped in a dollar bill in the middle of a hallway? Or the bag of weed in a patient’s room? Or the day the IV patient with a history of drug abuse became irate because her nurse wouldn’t give her a dilaudid injection through her PICC line? (For those who don’t know, a PICC line is a catheter for IV meds that runs directly into a major vein. Putting dilaudid in it fast would get you really high, really fast.)

Or, maybe it’s the fact that most of our nursing assistants seem to thin it’s OK to drop the f-bomb in every sentence, and have gang tattoos up their necks, and think it’s OK to be 10-30 minutes late every day. (Then I’m the one who gets criticized when I have to rearrange the daily assignment list to make sure that there are enough aides to care for the patients.)

Perhaps it the fact that the nursing assistants are allowed to be openly insubordinate to us nurses (their supervisors) but the minute we try to actually BE managers (like the DON says we should) the nursing assistant go crying to the DON who then comes to us and berates us for being “Nasty and rude” to the staff. (Um.. asking them to clean up a resident that has soiled themselves, NOW instead of "After I take my break" is rude? Huh. News to me...)

Is it the fact that I haven't had a regular schedule in the 3 years I have been working there, and that I never get my monthly schedule until nearly the first of the month, making it impossible to plan any further ahead than 3 weeks at a time? (The person that does the scheduling says it’s impossible to do a set schedule, even though everyone knows it can be done. The problem is that SHE can’t figure out how to do it.)

There are those that will tell me that these are problems that I might find at any facility. But I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think that the people managing the facility I work at are really all that concerned, and in fact spend more time barricaded in their offices than they do paying attention to what is going on in the rest of the building. (As long as the beds are full and the money is coming in, they really don't seem to care about much else.)

All of these things are contributing to my dissatisfaction with my job. It’s a struggle to go in every day, a struggle to stay focused and positive, and a struggle to maintain a professional attitude with the staff, residents and families.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve started looking for a new job, putting in applications at a few other facilities, and have had a couple of interviews. I owe it to myself to see if there is a better place out there before I decide to get out of long term care all together.

License Plate WTF?

Wed, 28 May 2008 22:00:10 -0400

I wonder if the woman driving this car actually thought about this before requesting it from the BMV?

Holiday Weekend Wrap Up

Tue, 27 May 2008 20:26:00 -0400

Memorial day has come and gone, and even though I had to work Saturday and Sunday, we still managed to have a good time for part of he weekend. Saturday the 24th was my husband's 40th birthday, so we celebrated in bits and pieces during the entire weekend.

Friday night, we met our friends Devon and Joe for sushi at our new favorite japanese restaurant, Kobe.

After many plates of sushi, and a few bottles of Asahi Dry, we rolled ourselves over to Best Buy for a stroll through the electronic goodness.

Devon and Joe

Steve. Who would be 40 in just a few hours.

An Empty Glass. How Tragic.

As I mentioned, I had to work Saturday and Sunday, but Steve met me for lunch on Saturday, and after I got home, there was birthday cake to be eaten. For his birthday, I got Steve the accessory kit for the new digital SLR camera he picked up earlier in the day. I wish I could have bought him the camera, but things are still a little tight financially, at least until a couple of bills get paid off later this year.

Sunday, more work, and a quiet dinner at home with Steve.

Monday, we got to celebrate the holiday and Steve's birthday with mimosas and Cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and buffalo burgers (Yes, real bison.) and corn on the cob for dinner. (Note to self: Any corn sold this early in the year is going to be tough. Ugh.)

Even with the working, it turned out to be a fairly good weekend, and we did get to spend some time together. Now we have the rest of the summer to look forward to, and if things go right, I won't have to work too many more weekends. (More on that later as things develop.)

Just Wondering...

Wed, 21 May 2008 17:12:17 -0400

Having the two people interviewing you for a new job high five each other after you give an answer to an interview question is a GOOD thing right?

There Goes the Neighborhood...

Tue, 20 May 2008 15:38:11 -0400

The house next door to us is empty now. The family that had lived there for the last 3 and a half years moved out over the weekend. There had never been a for sale sign posted, or a realtor's key box on the front door, so I assume (and I hope that I am wrong) that they were another casualty in the sub-prime mortgage mess that seems to have hit Ohio particularly hard.

We didn't know them well, but there seemed like nice people: A mom, dad and three kids ranging in age from teen to toddler. I would see the teenage daughter every day as I walked Dakota, and she walked to the school bus stop at the end of the street to wait for her little sister to get off the bus and walk her home. The little girl would always smile and say hello to Dakota when she saw him. They are good kids, and I hope that moving isn't too traumatic for them.

I waved at the mom as they were moving things out of the house on Saturday. We exchanged good mornings, but after that I was not sure what else to say. "So, I see you're moving..." just didn't seem appropriate. especially when we never really talked much, other than the occasional "Hello" when seeing each other outside.

When I think about it, Steve and I are lucky that even though our interest rate is adjustable, it can only go up by a small percentage each year, and only to a max that is a fraction of what some of the sub-prime rates out there have hit. We may have to adjust our spending a bit, cut back on things like dinners out and trips to IKEA, but we are not in danger (knock on wood) of losing our house. Many of our neighbors are not so lucky.

Since it is public record, I know that there are several houses in our subdivision that have been foreclosed upon and are now in the hands of the banks. This affects the property values of the other houses, and I'm worried about having an empty house next door to us will do to the value of our place. Am I wrong to worry about that? Am I selfish to worry about the effect of others losing their homes on my pocket?

I sincerely hope that people that need help to keep their houses get it, and that the current mess in the real estate market is over soon. I don't think our neighborhood can take much more before the bottom falls out completely.

Eddie Izzard

Tue, 13 May 2008 15:07:13 -0400

Steve and I are going to see Eddie Izzard at the Palace Theater tonight. He's one of my favorite comics and I'm looking forward to seeing him live for the first time.

UPDATE:

The show was fantastic! Nearly a sold out crowd, which I didn't expect considering that everyone I mentioned it to had no idea who Eddie Izzard was. Since Columbus is at the beginning of the tour, you could tell that he was still working on the material a bit and was trying some bits out for the first time. All in all, it was a great show, and I'd recommend seeing him if the tour hits your area.

WTF???

Fri, 09 May 2008 11:02:21 -0400

Just WRONG.. so very very wrong! I mean really, as if Clamato isn't an unholy alliance of flavors to begin with, but to combine it with cheap beer?

I'm afraid.. very afraid..

More Spring

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:44:48 -0400

The spring flowers finally bloomed here this past week or so, and the trees have begun to unfurl new leaves, turning the predominant color of our landscape from brown to light green.

Today was a day for walking, with temperatures in the mid 70’s and lots of sunshine. I decided to explore Inniswood Gardens again since the last time I was there nothing had bloomed yet. I was not disappointed.

Here are a few of pictures:

More pictures HERE

Water Over a Dam

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:22:53 -0400

I’m having lunch this afternoon with a friend that I haven’t seen in almost a year. For one reason or another, (Steve and I were never sure what it was...) we stopped hearing from him after he got involved with a new relationship last spring.

Now I know that there can be all kinds of reasons for that, but it’s always bothered me when a friend just drops off the face of the earth with no explanation. Was it something we said? Were we not “A-List” enough for you? Did you end up in a coma, unable to return a phone call? Well, whatever, I’m sure I’ll get some kind of a reason for his silence and absence, and now that that relationship is over, (Which I am truly sorry to hear...) an effort will be made to renew the friendship.

But I wonder: When the next relationship rolls around, will this person disappear again? Or will he finally realize that the friends you have are the people that stick around, and go out to lunch even after not hearing from you in almost a year?

Time will tell.

UPDATE

Yes, there were reasons, yes, they were good ones. And it was good to see this person again. (And the sushi we had for lunch was good too. )

Spring...

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:27:47 -0400

Has been a little late this year. But I can forgive it.

The forsythia has finally bloomed here in central Ohio. Folklore says that there will be three more snows after the forsythia blooms, and we are expecting a bit of snow over the weekend, although nothing that will accumulate.

Hopefully, my mood will lighten as the days get longer.

Here’s a little e.e. cummings to celebrate spring:

Snow? What Snow?

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:42:17 -0400

5 days after the largest snowfall ever recorded in Columbus, and it’s all gone. Melted. Heading downstream to the Ohio river. The temperatures have been in the 40s and 50s for the last few days and all of that hateful snow is gone daddy gone!

I hope it’s the last we’ll get for the year, but experience tells me otherwise.

Overheard...

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:38:12 -0400

Conversation between one of our nursing assistants and a 93 year old patient:

Nursing Assistant: “Mr F., why you got to be so mean?

Patient: “Because you madame, are a pain in the innermost recesses of the rectum!”

I love my job.

I Can't Believe...

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:53:51 -0400

That they got this to stick to the DVD:

Sure it has Sean Connery in space aged lederhosen, but sheesh...what a cheese fest!

The Blizzard (Well, Kinda....)

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:44:05 -0400

The snow started falling Friday morning around 10:00, and by the time it was over on Saturday afternoon we had 20.5 inches of snow on the ground, 15.5 of those falling over night Saturday.

Both of those totals are records for Columbus. The last time that much snow fell on one day was in 1910.

The talking weather heads here are calling it the “Blizzard of ’08” or ‘The Storm of the Century” The wind was never fast enough or sustained enough to make it an official blizzard, and the century is only 7 years old, but I can forgive a little weather hyperbole this time I guess. The coverage during the storm was bad enough. One local reporter with no yard stick or ruler handy, resorted to using the following items to illustrate the depth of the snow:

- A 22” baguette from Panera Bread

- 2 sacks of White Castle sliders

- 4 Starbucks Venti coffee cups stacked on top of each other.

It’s unusual for Columbus to be ground zero for a storm like this. Normally, it’s Cleveland that gets it the worst due to the lake effect snow off of Lake Erie, but this time, all of the elements of a perfect storm converged right over central Ohio.

I left work on Friday night thinking that I’d have the whole weekend to get the snow cleared away, since I didn’t have to be back to work until Tuesday morning. What I wasn’t counting on was my co-workers calling off because of the snow on Saturday morning. My phone rang the first time at 4:30 am. I was not a happy bear. One of the day shift nurses had called off and I was being asked to come in to work on what was possibly the worst weather morning of the past decade. Now, I have dragged my ass in there in all kinds of weather, and in various degrees of illness, but this was not one morning that I was going to attempt to go in. My little red Focus would have made it 5 feet down my driveway and been buried up to the wheel wells. Even if I HAD agreed to go in, I never would have made it there. (And the nurse that called off drives a 4 wheel drive vehicle and lives closer to work that I do.. go figure...)

Every health care worker knows, you give up your right to a snow day when you choose this profession. You don’t get to stay home just because the roads are nearly impassable or because they might become impassable later. Every year the administration here has to remind people of that fact. Kind of gets old after a while.

Steve and I waited until Sunday morning after the snow had stopped to clear the driveway, and no sooner had we finished than the phone rang. Work again. This time, I had no excuse, and ended up covering a shift for someone that lived in an area that WAS truly impassable.

Today, it’s 40 degrees here and the world around us is starting to melt. The temperatures are supposed to be above freezing from here on out, and this record snowfall will be water under the bridge by the end of this week. Now we just have to worry about flooding.

Here are a few pictures of the snow:

Our House on Saturday Morning

The backyard, as seen from the office. Dakota was not amused by the 3 foot snowdrifts in his yard.

Steve and Dakota

Snow and ice sliding off of the metal roof at work. It looked like the building had grown fangs.

First Quilt...

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:56:19 -0500

My first finished quilt top! Some of the seams are a little off, but I’ve been told it is a respectable first effort.

I learned a few things doing this one, like not working with patterns of horizontal or vertical stripes, (Look close, you’ll see what I mean.) and don’t cut fabric while you are pissed off. (Correcting the resulting mistakes actually took about 1 inch off the quilt in each direction.)

Now I’ll need to attach the batting and the backing, and get it quilted. I’m going to try quilting it myself, but first I need to find the right foot for the sewing machine.

As always, I’ll post pics once it’s finished. .

GRRRRRRR...

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:58:36 -0500

This morning, I had to present an in service to the staff at the nursing home so I stopped at a Tim Hortons donut shop to get donuts for the attendees. I ordered one and a half dozen donuts, and a large coffee. The guy at the register asks: “Is that for here or to go?” AS IF!

I know I’m a bigger bear, but really, who in the hell would sit in a Tim Hortons and eat 18 donuts. I was slightly offended at first and then just amused.

ZOMG! OH NOES! WE HAZ SNO!

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:00:39 -0500

I love this time of year in Columbus. As the first major snowfall of the season approaches, the media outlets go nuts trying to out do each other with their hyperbolic weather forecasting.

The weather forecast for last night into this morning called for 1-3 inches of snow, followed by about one more inch throughout the day today for a grand total of 2-4 inches.

Having grown up in Michigan, and having lived in northern Ohio for most of my adult life, including nearly 5 years in Cleveland, I am used to the snow and don’t really consider 2-4 inches of snow (or anything else for that matter) is something to get excited over. Not so with our local meteorologists!

For the last 24 hours, almost every TV weather man here has been blathering on about the “Major Snow Event!” that is approaching our area. You would think that white death is raining down on our heads over night. It’s gotten so bad, that even the folks at the Columbus Dispatch did a front page story on the over top forecasting:

As snow returns, so does hyperbole

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:18 AM

THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH

My favorite quote:

“Destruction was supposed to fall from the sky last night. A beautiful blanket of terror. White death.

The meteorologists predicted 1 to 3 inches of snow, which might as well have been 1 to 3 inches of rattlesnakes. One to 3 inches of boiling tar.”

This all reminds me of the episode of 3rd Rock From the Sun where Harry sees snow for the first time and runs around screaming: “Albino Brain Chiggers!!! Cover your ears!!!!”

People in this city lose their freaking heads at the mention of snow. There were even people talking about calling off from work at the nursing home because they didn’t want to drive in “all that snow”. The DON reminded them that they are health care workers and are expected to be at work come hell or high water. You give up the idea of taking a snow day when you work in health care.

I’ve always wondered why the first major snow of the year comes as a surprise to people. We live in Ohio, and it’s winter. In the winter in Ohio, it snows. Always has, probably always will. If you don’t want to worry about snow, MOVE SOUTH!

Oh well. Enough ranting. Here are a couple of pictures:

The view out our back door

Dakota in the snow. He tries to attack it... Then eat it.

A frosted pine tree

A Pet Peeve:

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:06:01 -0500

This past holiday weekend saw the beginning of the annual parade of visitors to the nursing home I work at. Over the next 30 days, we will be inundated with church groups, scout groups, and civic organizations all doing their part to make the holidays a little nicer for our residents. I don’t have a problem with this at all. The residents enjoy it, the staff doesn’t seem to mind and it makes people feel like they are doing something nice for someone else. I do however have a couple of questions for all of these holiday time visitors:

Where are you the OTHER 335 days of the year? Do you think our residents hibernate between the months of January and November? Is December the ONLY time of the year you can make time to visit?

Come see them during February when the weather is awful and they can’t sit outside. Just come by and offer to play cards, or help with crafts.

Organize a group from your church or garden club to come by in the spring and help our residents plant a flower or vegetable garden. The memory will last longer than your crappy carol singing back in December.

Come during the summer and offer to help with a cookout or other event on the 4th of July.

Drop by on Veterans Day and bring flags to decorate and spend some time visiting with the veterans who live here.

Our residents are here 12 months of the year. Not just the 30 days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Stop by more often. You might just find it as enjoyable as the residents would.

Thanksgiving Day, 2007

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 21:10:15 -0500

For the first time in many years, Steve and I stayed home for Thanksgiving. Usually, we are at one of his relatives, or driving north to Michigan to spend the holiday with my family. This year, for a variety of reasons, we opted to spend the day at home, and I decided to cook.

We started the day with our traditional holiday breakfast of cinnamon rolls and mimosas. We also tried watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, but gave up after about 30 minutes. These days, they don’t show much of the parade and I’m not into watching people lip sync broadway show tunes.

I cooked a small ( 7 Lbs) turkey and made stuffing, mashed potatoes and green beans to go with it. It turned out well, except for the stuffing that was a little too soupy. I think I needed more bread, although I did manage to get the celery to sage ratios just right. I tasted almost as good as my mother’s stuffing recipe.

All in all a relaxing day. This evening, there is pumpkin pie and more wine for dessert.

We may even brave the black Friday crowds for a little shopping and people watching tomorrow, something we haven’t done in years.

I hope everyone is having a great holiday, and that you all have something to be thankful for.

Thank You Marathon Oil!

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 21:15:28 -0400

Yes, the title is a sarcasm.

Last summer, Marathon Oil Company decided that in the interest os national security, they needed to clear trees and brush from the land over one of their midwest pipelines. Unfortunately, that pipeline runs right through a couple of Columbus metroparks, including Blendon Woods.

I had not been to Blendon woods since they cleared the trees, so I was not prepared for what I found. Marathon has clear cut all the trees along the entire pipeline, creating a 100+ yard wide swath of destruction. Here are pictures:

Looking West

Looking East

And just in case you forgot who brought this to your local forest....

First Frost

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:19:52 -0400

We had our first frost of the autumn this morning. The temperature was 29 when I got up, although it quickly rose into the 30s one the sun came up. Steve turned the furnace on for the first time this morning. There is nothing like the smell of the accumulated dust in the heating elements being incinerated to proclaim that air conditioning season is over.

The coming of frost has always seemed to me like natures way of putting a period on the growing season, a reminder that cold weather is coming and that the earth will be taking a rest. A reminder to get ready for the cold and dark of winter by filling the pantry with a supply of carbs. (And I’ve been craving carbs like crazy. I have to be careful not to gain a lot of weight in the winter. I’d sit and eat carb filled comfort food until April if I could.)

This time of year, I start making plans to give the house a good cleaning before sealing it up for the winter. I like to start winter with a clean house, makes it easier to keep up with over the holidays and into late winter when it’s not possible to open up the windows and let in fresh air.

Here’s another picture looking the opposite direction on our street. You can see the frost in the grass better in this one:

Ah.... Nature.....

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 21:22:54 -0400

Today was a day off for me, and I decided that instead of spending it sitting in front of the computer playing World of Warcraft, I’d get out of the house and enjoy the great weather we’ve been blessed with.

I headed south, down to Three Creeks Metropark, one of my favorite places to get away for a bit and enjoy being outside. Three Creeks is a very quiet park, especially during the work day. It’s the kind of place where you could almost imagine being out in the middle of nowhere, no one else around for miles.

I started my walk on one of the unimproved trails that follow the course of Alum Creek, to the point where it meets up with big Walnut Creek and Blacklick Creek (Hence the name of the park.) The woods were “Lovely dark and deep” to borrow a phrase from Frost, and I soon found a nice log to sit on and watch the creek flow by. I closed my eyes, felt the breeze on my skin, heard the singing of the birds, the ripple of the water, the SUDDEN WHOOSH OF AN F-16 FIGHTER FLYING LOW OVER THE TREES. What The Fu.....!!!!!

I had forgotten that today was the first day of an air-show at Rickenbacker Airport, which was close to the park area. The show was a gathering of P-51 mustangs from the WWII era, as well as performances by the USAF Thunderbirds. It was the Thunderbirds that were now gracing me with their presence over my head. So much for tranquility.

I continued my walk, occasionally catching glimpses of aircraft through the tree tops. One of the neat things I saw was a B-17 flying fortress flying overhead in formation with several P-51s. Awesome sight.

September

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 10:01:10 -0400

As a nurse in a long term care facility, I get a variety of reactions when I tell people where I work. These vary from “ I could never work there!” to “You must be a saint to do that kind of work” and my personal favorite: “I can’t stand being around old people. They’re creepy!”

In my experience, people who claim to be creeped out by old people, usually suffer from a morbid fear of growing old themselves. They just can’t picture themselves as the old man in the wheelchair, or the old woman with dementia calling the cat that isn’t really there. I think the same thing goes for people that say they could never work with the elderly, or think that just being able to do the job automatically qualifies one for sainthood. Being around the elderly reminds us all that we will grow old too.

I have often encouraged the families of my patients to bring in old photographs to display in the patients room. I think it helps the staff connect with the patient when they can see that Mrs. Smith was not always the crazy lady with Alzheimer’s in room 200, but was once a young vivacious woman who could have stopped traffic with her looks. It helps to see that Mr. Jones, who doesn’t talk and has to be fed was once a buff handsome young soldier who made it home from Korea in one piece. It helps to see that the elderly couple sitting in the day room holding hands were once young and beautiful, and would stay out dancing all night, never dreaming that in 50 years, she would be unable to move or speak, and he would have to come see her in a nursing home every day.

I saw this posted on Boing Boing today, and wanted to share it. Someone found a cosmetic case filled with photos of a woman from the age of about 2 or so all the way into her 40s or 50s. She’d be in her 70s today, almost 80 in fact. I hope she’s still living life on her own terms, but if not, I hope she has people taking care of her that see her as a full person, with a past, present and future, and not just as the “cranky old lady in room 200” Click on the photograph to see the rest of them.

UPDATE: More Pictures HERE Check the posting dated Sept. 2, 2007.

Little Plastic Castles

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 16:09:44 -0400

There is never a dull moment when you work with dementia patients. Some have good short term memory, but can’t remember things from the distant past, while others have the memory of a goldfish and can’t remember something that happened 10 minutes ago. (It’s fun trying to convince an Alzheimer’s patient who is certain she is being starved to death that she just finished eating every bite of her dinner.)

Last night, one of my favorite patients, Louise, was desperately trying to get my attention as I was passing my supper time meds.

“Doc! Doc! I need you! Come over here!” (Louise, being of a certain generation, sees every man in medical scrubs as a doctor. There’s no use telling her I’m a nurse, I have been and always will be ‘Doc” to her.)

I stopped and stooped down next to her wheelchair and asked her what it was she needed.

“I need you to make an appointment for me to have my new glasses made! My mother said I needed new ones!”

I tried to explain to her that she didn’t wear glasses, that she could see just fine, but she was having none of it. Every time I walked past on my way to or from the dining room, she would call out for me to set up the appointment for the new glasses she didn’t need. Finally, I decided to humor her. Picking up the phone at the nurses station, I pretended to place a call, making sure to talk loud enough so that Louise could hear me.

I knew from experience that Louise would likely forget the whole thing in about 10 minutes any way, and wouldn’t know that today was Wednesday and that tomorrow was Thursday. Pretending to make the appointment was a quick way to make her happy and get on with my work.

“Hello? “ I said into the phone, “This is Doc. I need to make an appointment for Louise to have new eye glasses made. Thursday? Thursday afternoon at 2:30 PM? That will be fine!” I hung up from my “call” and turned to Louise. “It’s all set!” I told her. “We’ll go to the eye doctor on Thursday at 2:30!”

Louise smiled at me and said “OK! So we go tomorrow at 2:30. Today is Wednesday so tomorrow is Thursday right?”

Oh. Crap. So much for my bright idea.

I guess that little plastic castle wasn’t that much of a surprise for Louise.

Well, at least the ground here never moves....

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 21:05:04 -0400

The weather in Ohio this past week has truly and honestly sucked. Between 90+ degree temperatures, (I HATE hot weather.) and torrential rains, Ohio is a muggy swamp. Areas to the north and south of Columbus are under water, and schools actually shut down this past week because of the heat.

Columbus has been lucky for the most part, with most of the bad weather going around the city. But today it was our turn for some major weather suckage.

At about 5:00 P.M. today, just as Steve and I were entering the grocery store, the tornado warning sirens went off here in Franklin county. We hurried up, picked up what we came for and rushed home just in time for this:

As an adult, I can appreciate storms like this for their awesome beauty and actually enjoy watching them. That was not always the case however.

When I was a small child we lived in a mobile home in southern Michigan, on the northern edges of what is known as "Tornado Alley".

One summer, when I was around 6 or 7, I can remember my younger brother and I being whisked off to shelter in an old farmhouse near the trailer park. The house was owned by our next door neighbor's cousin. My cousin Jane, who was baby-sitting us at the time, decided to leave our family dog behind, telling me that "She'll be OK! Dog's always know what to do!" as you can imagine, this does NOT go over well with a 6 year old who is already scared out of his wits by the prospect of a tornado destroying his home. Add to that the fact that my mother was at work, and (In my mind at least) wouldn't know where to find us, and you have what was one of the most frightening experiences of my young life.

For the remainder of my childhood, I was deathly afraid of storms. If there was a tornado watch, or worse yet, a tornado warning issued for the area we lived in, I became a basket case. My pulse quickened, I became very nervous, and would refuse to leave the house until there was no threat of severe weather.

I've finally out grown my fear of storms, but I still get a little nervous and jumpy when a really bad thunderstorm is brewing.

Just Asking......

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 21:35:18 -0400

Do stupid people know that they are stupid? Or do they just think that they are normal and that everyone around them is really really smart?

Discuss.

100 Things About Me

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 21:14:05 -0400

1. I was born on January 1, 1965. Which makes me either one of the last baby boomers, or one of the first Gen. Xers depending on how you count such things.

2. As a child, I preferred the company of adults to other children.

3. When I was small, I had an imaginary friend named Homer.

4. I was born in Toledo, Ohio.

5. I grew up 30 miles north of Toledo in Adrian, Michigan.

6. I hated almost every minute of school. It was boring.

7. I read 1984 in the 7th grade for a book report.

8. I read Animal Farm the same year.

9. I suffered from cystic acne from the age of 11 until my senior year in high school when

I was one of the first people to take Acutane.

10. The tattoos on my arms and shoulders are covering the worst of the acne scars.

11. I have only ever actually kissed one female.

12. I didn’t like it.

13. My first male / male kiss was at the age of 17 with a man twice my age.

14. I liked it.

15. I played the bassoon in the high school band / orchestra. Once I graduated, I never played again.

16. I’ve been to college, but do not have a degree.

17. I have worked in the following industries: health insurance, health care, office

supplies, training and development, IT, food service, retail and chemical.

18. I have lived in the following cities: Adrian, Mi., Toledo, Oh. Cleveland, Oh., and

Columbus, Oh.

19. Best place I ever worked: Gov. contracting job for the DoD. (Got to travel a lot!)

20. Worst Place I ever worked: CareWorks of Ohio. (Toxic work environment.)

21. I have been to Japan (4 times), Korea and Germany.

22. I lost weight in Japan. (Ate sushi and sashimi every day.)

23. I gained weight in Germany.

24. I REALLY like German beer. (See #23)

25. I’ve been to San Francisco twice, but never been to New York City.

26. I could never live in San Francisco.

27. I changed careers at the age of 38.

28. I now work as a nurse.

29. I like my job for the first time in years.

30. I do not like working with dementia patients.

31. I want to eventually open my own clinic.

32. I am afraid of heights.

33. I am afraid of growing old and ending up alone.

34. I hate hot weather.

35. I’d rather drive in snow than in rain.

36. My favorite season of the year is fall.

37. I don’t really have a favorite color.

38. I enjoy cooking.

39. I am an Alton Brown fan.

40. Favorite comfort food: Meatloaf and Mac and Cheese. (It’s a tie.)

41. Favorite Dessert: Anything chocolate

42. I like both coffee AND tea (Earl Grey tea is my favorite)

43. I prefer red wine to white.

44. Liquor of choice: Bourbon. (Makers Mark thank you very much)

45. I like science fiction.

46. I am a Star Trek fan, and can hold my own in a conversation with any rabid trek

nerd.

47. I like going to Renaissance Fairs

48. I do not LARP, but my brother does.

49. I am a history nerd.

50. I like classical music, country music, and all kinds of dance music.

51. I do not like to dance.

52. I have owned 5 cars. First: 1979 Subaru Brat pick up truck, Current: Ford Focus.

53. I will NOT buy another Ford.

54. Politically, I am a left leaning libertarian.

55. I was raised in the Episcopal Church.

56. When I was in high school, I wanted to be an Episcopal priest.

57. I no longer consider myself a Christian.

58. My spiritual beliefs can best be summed up as Neo-Pagan-Buddhist-Agnostic-

Humanist.

59. I like dogs.

60. I am indifferent to cats.

61. I like to go camping.

62. I like being around large bodies of water.

63. I like hiking in the woods.

64. I like going to zoos.

65. I like going to museums. I once visited the Smithsonian the day after a blizzard

in D.C., had the entire Air and Space and National History museums nearly to

myself. Heaven!

66. I hate crowds.

67. I like going to bars and hanging out with friends.

68. I don’t feel like I have enough friends.

69. I can be a major bitch if provoked.

70. It takes a lot to provoke me.

71. I never notice people hitting on me.

72. I was single until I was 33 (See #55)

73. I collect Fiesta Ware.

74. I am an IKEA junkie.

75. I am a Target-a-holic

76. I HATE Wal-Mart. (I get physicaly ill just walking in the door.)

77. I am a control freak. A benevolent one.

78. My partner and I have been together for almost 10 years.

79. The first movie we went to together was Lost in Space. (Our relationship was a

bigger hit than the movie.)

80. We dated for nearly 2 years before we moved in together.

81. Breath Right strips saved our relationship.

82. We both get along with each other’s families.

83. I’d rather watch a movie at home than go to a movie theater.

84. Favorite movie of all time: The Lion in Winter

85. Other Favorites: The Women, Big Eden, The Fifth Element, too many others to add.

86. I have never seen E.T. or Blade Runner.

87. I am a cynic.

88. I usually expect the best of things and people, but rarely get it.

89. I don’t like people who do not have a sense of humor.

90. I don’t like people who whine.

91. I don’t like people who make bad choices and then expect the world to fix

everything

for them.

92. I don’t like people with big egos.

93. When no one else will offer you a healthy dose of reality, I will.

94. I do not suffer fools gladly.

95. I do not like stupid people.

96. I have a VERY warped sense of humor.

97. I like bad puns

98. Bugs Bunny cartoons still make me laugh.

99. I know all the words to “The Wabbit of Seville”

100.I quit smoking on December 4, 2006.

Bent Bears Big Gay Road Trip

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 14:35:17 -0400

Being presented with a gorgeous weekend last last weekend, we just HAD to get the hell out of Columbus and hit the road for a Bent Bear Road Trip. Unlike the last trip where we just picked a direction and drove till we felt like turning around, this time out we had a destination in mind. Two of them actually.

Heading east on I-70, we drove through the rest of Ohio to Martins Ferry, just across the Ohio River from Wheeling, West Virginia, and headed north on state route 7. Route 7 pretty much follows the Ohio all the way to East Liverpool, Ohio. At one time, the road actually went THROUGH this coal powered power plant:

After 9/11, a by-pass was built and the road now goes around the plant. Aside from the obvious security risk posed by having a major highway going THROUGH a major power plant, the old road was also rather narrow, making for an interesting drive, particularly in the rain.

We followed Rt. 7 as far as Steubenville (Hometown of Dean Martin believe it or not...) and headed across the Ohio into West Virginia on Rt. 22.

Rt. 22 takes you through lovely downtown Weirton, WV. (Can you sense the sarcasm?) Weirton is a classic rust belt city, still struggling with the downsizing of the US steal industry. As in most of West Virginia, which approved slot machine gambling several years ago, and just this past June approved table games, Weirton is full of little "Cafes" which offer food, and gambling. As near as we can figure, these places can not be opened primarily for the purpose of gambling, so all have names like "Edna's Cafe and More!" or "George's Lunch Counter and MORE!" The "and more" being slot machines.

From Weirton we headed north on WV RT. 2, to Newell, WV., and the first of our planned stops for the day:

The Fiesta Ware Factory Outlet!. Yes I admit it, I'm a Fiesta Ware freak. We now have service for a bazillion, including service pieces and coffee mugs. Fiesta just recently released a new color, Evergreen, and I , being the Fiesta Bear that I am, wanted (No! NEEDED!) to have it. Not only did I get it at a reasonable price. (A bit less than Macy's wanted for it here in town), but we also spent some time going through the bins in the seconds room picking up a few things for Steve's sister, and a few things that we were missing. Some amazing deals there.

After wallowing in Fiesta-y goodness, it was back on the road, heading east into Pennsylvania, to the outskirts of Pittsburgh (Only about 45 miles from Newell) and our 2nd stop on our Big Bent Bear Road Trip of Gayness!:

Notice that in this picture, 2 of my favorite words are located in close proximity to each other: IKEA and SALE.

And yes, we had just driven 3+ hours to go to an IKEA. Some of you in other parts of the country might not understand this, since there might be an IKEA very close to you. But this IKEA in Pittsburgh is the closest one to Columbus. About every 3rd car in the lot has Ohio plates, and of those most are from the Columbus area. One would think that IKEA would have noticed this when deciding where to build the new store ini Ohio and select a site near Columbus. (What with Columbus being the 15th largest city in the U.S., and the largest city in Ohio and being right smack dab in the center of the state). But alas, the Ohio store is being built in Westchester , outside of Cincinnati. It will still be closer that Pittsburgh, but sheesh.. Cincinnati?

Having spent a couple happy hours cruising the aisles at IKEA, stocking up on cocktail glasses, various other kitchen items, and enough lingonberry jam to last until the new store opens in Ohio (I loves me some lingonberry pancakes!) we hit the checkout stands and actually made it out of IKEA having spent less than $200.00. That had NEVER happened before. Usually, we end up spending the equivalent of the gross national product of Belize. We must be slipping.

We headed home after IKEA, wanting to make it home before dark, since Steve had to work the next day. (I'm still on vacation until the 19th of July). We unpacked the car, and were thankful that for once, we didn't have to carry huge ass boxes full of flat packed furniture into the house after driving for 3 hours.

Not a bad way to spend a Sunday. Fiesta Ware, IKEA, and some interesting scenery along the way.

Hotel La Rut

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 19:19:12 -0400

One of my favorite sketches from The Kids in the Hall:

Sometimes I feel like I've checked into Hotel La Rut. I'm not sure why. Maybe having some time off this next week or two will help me figure it out.

The Meaning Behind the Tattoos

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:12:37 -0400

I’ve had a few people ask me what the two trees on my arms represent. Now that they are both finished, I can try to explain it.

A long time ago, when I was a much younger man, a very wise Episcopal priest and I were discussing the nature of good and evil, right and wrong. At that time I was becoming angry with the church for it’s intolerance of gay and lesbian people, and was beginning to lose my faith in organized religion.

We talked about the role of religion in contemporary society, and whether it was relevant in a modern world. Did we really need religion to tell us what was good and what was evil? Did we really need a priest to teach us right from wrong?

After a lull in the conversation, Ted, (The priest) looked at me and said:

“Matthew, perhaps the job of the church is not to teach us right from wrong, good from evil after all. Perhaps the churches role, and that of religion in general, is to teach us how to live good and happy lives in the tension between the two.”

That statement has stuck with me ever since. I often reflect on it when bad things happen, as well as when everything seems to be going right. Life is about tension. Tension between doing the right thing, or doing the wrong thing, tension between salvation and damnation.

So there it is. On my arms to remind me. On the right, a tree in full leaf, reaching toward the rising sun, a glorious symbol of life. On the left, a gnarled tree, it’s lifeless branches silhouetted against a cold moon.

And in the middle, me. Living in the tension.

What She Really Wants

Sun, 13 May 2007 21:13:38 -0400

If you’ve read the intro page to this site, you know that I work as a nurse in a long term care facility.

Today was mothers day, and as usual, I had to work. ( I don’t really mind, my mom is 150 miles away in southern Michigan, and I’m happy to let some of the other nurses have the day off to spend with their families.) And spending part of the day taking care of OTHER peoples moms isn’t a waste of time by any means.

The thing about the day that DOES bother me, is seeing people who NEVER come to visit their family member waltz in and attempt to make up for 364 days of neglect all in one day by giving my staff a hard time.

“Momma needs this, momma needs that.. momma needs her hair combed, momma needs blah blah blah.... “

I just want to grab these people by the collar and look them right in the eye and say “No., what momma needs, is for YOU to make it a point to visit more often. She needs you to bring her grandchildren in once in a while. She needs YOU to comb her hair for her once in a while. She needs to get a phone call occasionally, and she needs to know that she still matters to you the other 364 days of the fucking year!”

But of course, I don’t say that. I realize that people have their own reasons for visiting or not visiting as the case may be, and that I never really know the whole story. I just do the best I can to help out the staff, and make sure it’s as pleasant a day as possible for my little old ladies. Besides, those same family members will be back on Christmas... maybe I’ll have the courage to say something then.